Well. It's been a-while. Tim and I have journeyed across the country and are now settled in Durham, North Carolina. I start classes at Duke this coming Monday and am going through all of the nervousness, terror, thrill, euphoria of beginning this journey.
This last week, we were put through orientation. To orient us to the college, the community, the worship, the atmosphere of our new home. I have never been asked SO much "What denomination are you?" I feel like I don't even know how to answer that question. I want to say, "What denomination am I not?" but that feels ignorant. What are they getting at to ask that question? Do they want to know my theology? Do they want to know if I'm a true believer? It feels like it's meant to categorize us all away into all our niches. And I know I'm sounding horribly post-modern here. Forgive me. I guess I just don't understand the question. But. Here's what I've come to realize:
The culture of the south is "Christian". Anyone and everyone is christian. To ask what denomination someone is, is to ask "What's your background," "What history do you have," "What do you believe about x?" and sometimes "Are you really a Christian or just a christian?" and "Are you like me?" But is it so wrong to assume (or at least be okay with) everyone being "christian"? Is that such a fatal error?
I guess in some ways I can appreciate the question. It orients us to some degree, it sums up a little of our history and what we affiliate ourselves with. But in other ways, I feel like it just begins to divide us again into little camps. Here's us, there's you. But of course we are all different; even in the same denomination we are different. Is it necessary to divide it up all the way down? Maybe so. Maybe not. I'm journeying :)
One of the speeches in our orientation was on diversity. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't the cliche "Be nice to the differents" speech. The speaker wonderfully articulated how all of us, even in the littlest of ways, separate ourselves from the different. We say, "I know you think that, but unfortunately, it's wrong. And that thinking is weak. I could tear you apart up one side and down the other." And the speaker, Dr. Willie Jennings, said, "I urge you, beg you, when you are in these situations listen to the other person. Listen to what they say. Stop talking. Build community with people who are different from you. Seek out people who think differently." And I did feel challenged. I like people who are open minded, who think well, who don't define a religion by a prayer.
Anyway, we had a guest over the other night. And I have to say, I don't know when the last time I was challenged so much. I am learning to be comfortable simply not liking people. We all have differences; it's natural that we wouldn't all get along. But on the other hand, how am I doing at embracing diversity if I can't be around people who are SO different from me?
I find a war within myself (help me Candace): how do I balance not liking someone and not wanting to be around them at all and still being open to learn from those who are different from me and being willing to allow them to be themselves with me? How are we to embrace diversity and learn from those who are different from us if they are not returning the favor so to speak? If he who is different from us is so close-minded and judgmental about everything, how can he have the mindset to embrace diversity in me and learn from me? If it's not returned, if it's not mutual, does it become damaging to both parties? Or at least to one? Do we "embrace" them at arm's length and hold close those who understand us?
Ultimately, what do you do when you spend the entire night wanting to shout obscenities and drink copious amounts of alcohol just to cope with your company?
