Change on the horizon!

I think we all feel it. It must be something in the water. Change is preying upon us, and I have to say, for my part it's most welcome.

These last two years have been full. I have felt myself deepen. I have lived through the ugliest in people and the most beautiful. I've had the worst allergies you can imagine. Tim and I have survived joblessness, poverty. I've thrown myself into gardening and painting and tried my hand at creating different spaces. I've become the lady of my own home. Yes, it's been full. The real full. Not the full that's busy, the full that's big person-building roots being stretched down.



I have been a tree these last two years. Some roots went so deep and developed root rot; some went even deeper and have given me life. I weathered heat, wind and cold. I allowed myself to be miserable and quiet through the winter and now feel the thrill of pushing out new buds. The promise of life is on my horizon.





And here we are my dearies. All loving each other fully and still tenaciously pursuing moving away. What strange birds we are. I am so excited for us all! Moving to Spain, moving to Portland, moving to the East Coast, moving....with each step in each of our lives, I feel the thrill of excitement and a pain of sadness. Is there a way to move and have adventure and not say goodbye to what we have?

To our spontaneous glasses of wine? Our dancing parties? Our late afternoon sangria and beer floats? To gambling football parties? To complaining about work and corporate america?

Perhaps it does make each droplet of time spent with you sweeter, more treasured. I love you all

*disclaimer: Why do I have no pictures of us all together? And I couldn't find pictures of all of us! :(

The Treachery of Corporate America

I've realized something about myself recently. I am determined to believe the best about people. Sure, maybe they're a little bitchy. Sure maybe sometimes she's kind of a ditz. He said that? Well, maybe he really meant this. And on and on it goes. I think usually this is an excellent quality. I want people to be the best they can be (go ARMY). I encourage them to believe that they are the best about themselves. But lately, this quality has, quite frankly, caused me misery.

A few weeks ago that my lovely co-worker, who is all good and kind and considerate (bahaha!) found a document on her computer that I had written and accidentally forgotten to close before she came in. Granted, I shouldn't have been dumb enough to have it on her computer in the first place, but still. She and I have hung out a few times outside of work and I have shared with her some of the heartache I went through last year with the betrayal at Disciple's Church (sounds like a movie...Betrayal at Disciple's Church). So naturally, she says nothing to me, prints the document and trots off to show it to my boss. Awesome.

I should have known better. I have seen these two throw people they "care about" under the bus like it was nothing. They probably wouldn't bat an eye if they were told it was part of their job to drown kittens. But for some reason, I never really believed that they would do that to me. I'm their friend! I've had them over for dinner! We laugh together; I've comforted them through death & break-ups.

As if that wasn't enough, I just learned that she also told our boss about the troubles I've had with Disicple's Church and how that might affect my relationships with some of my co-workers who still attend there. Betrayal has definitely been on my "Learning List" this year. The questions I'm asking myself now are

How do I acknowledge anger and deal with it healthily?

If anger and bitterness is natural and part of the process, how long before it becomes destructive to myself?

And how do I continue working successfully in an environment that is so toxic? How do I be Julie here?

"Cordianally" yours,

JRM